


words that stay bewtween us

by distancing_reality



Category: The Kingdoms of Thorn and Bone
Genre: Age-gap Relationship, Book 4, Canon couple, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, PLEASE I WAANT TO FIND IT, Scene Rewrite, Serious Conversation, and he has no idea what to do about it, aspar and winna's book 4 reunion, first ever fanfic ever written for this fandom, if there exists anything else, she's pregnant, the born queen, unless I'm wrong, very important tag but- knuckle kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 14:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20508797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distancing_reality/pseuds/distancing_reality
Summary: It's been four months since they last saw each other, Aspar is shocked to learn that he's a father! Winna is more concerned with whether or not he's been faithful. Will they be able to talk through their problems? Or will Aspar's habit of dodging serious conversations get in the way?A deeper look into the heads and hearts of KTB's first couple during their book 4 reunion!





	words that stay bewtween us

**words that stay between us**

_a kingdoms of thorn and bone fic_

-

Fatigue clung to his eyelids like cobwebs to a dusty door frame. He sat heavily on the bed, feet squared on the floor, hands in his lap.

Aspar White had experienced more near-death scrapes in the last year and a half than he had in all his forty or so years. It was almost a shock that he was still breathing, especially after the latest of these encounters. Aspar rubbed his bruised knees, letting his mind tumble back over the sensations of the morning. Falling and the impact of the hard earth under his back as he rolled, and the woosh of air by his ears. And the pure displeasure of looking at that hideous creature. And the hateful gaze of the nobleman’s boy. It had been a rush of emotions and adrenaline and-

Winna.

She had seemed shocked to see him, wide mouthed, out of breath.

And pregnant.

That detail, the roundness of her, stood out stark against the image in his mind of how she had looked last he saw her. 

Out of the silence of the room came a sharp knock. It rang through the plain room, muffling in the quilt of the bed. Standing he glanced at the door, it was a knock he had both been hoping for and dreading. When he opened the door, Winna was standing there. Her body was tense and she had the eyes of a frightened deer. And in her wide eyes was the same look she had given him that morning, one of disbelief. In her eyes a forest of thoughts and questions rose up tangled and confused hiding something he couldn’t identify.

Standing before him, she looked almost exactly the way she had before. Light wheat colored tresses unbound, and falling over her narrow shoulders, matched the goldish brown of her eyes. And she was just as small. Well, in height.

“Are you unpoisoned now?” Her voice held a strained note to it.

“I reckon.”

“You’ll kiss me, then, or I’ll know why.”

His hands found their way onto her hips holding her firmly but welcomingly. She fell into his arms, nestling there, taking up as much room as she could manage. The relief he should feel was missing. The physical feelings all he could muster.

Her mouth was warm and soft but something between them was wrong. Discordant. Something between them was different. Too many questions seemed to buzz like insects right beyond her mouth. And so the kiss went on longer than its sincerity. She pulled away from him, reaching to cup his face in her rough hands and she smiled. It was genuine and yet the joy held back a bit from her eyes.

“So,” Aspar said, glancing down at her round belly.

Her eyebrows went up and the displeasure was so familiar it set his heart thumping in his chest. “That had better not be a question Aspar White.” She said. “I truly hope you’re not asking what I think you are.”

“No,” He said quickly, knowing his voice rang false. “I just- but, uh, when?”

“When do think? When we were last together! That time in the tree house.” She smiled indulgently, letting her eyes say it all. With a gentle zeal, she took his face in her hands and kissed him again. “This babe is yours, no question about it.”

His heart beat harder in his chest and a sick weight like lead settled in his gut. No. That had been the day she had been poisoned by the woorm. A terrible chill crawled up his spine. Of course she had conceived that day. Of course he had laid with her that morning, when the danger had been greatest. And by the cruel hand of fate that had been the day she…

“That’s not the look I was hoping for.” She said flatly.

“I’m just- I’m trying to take all this in is all.” That she was really with child… with his child! That weight in his stomach was growing and he felt nauseous.

“Well yah, yah, I’m trying to take it in too.” She pulled back a bit. “Where have you been? Where have you been Aspar? With that woman? What is she doing with you?”

“Leshya?”

“You know who I mean!”

“That’s a long story Winna.”

“You had better start then.”

He took a steadying breath and touched her side carefully. “Sit down.”

She sat. On the bed, perching on the edge.

“I went off after the woorm, followed it for a long time up through the Bairghs. Deep up in there I caught up with it, but I wasn’t the only one. Hespero had been tracking it too. Somehow.”

“The praifec?”

“Yah.”

The lying churchman. Hespero had tricked them like the snake he was. And if the old man’s plans had gone right, he and Winna and Stephen would be dead. If the churchman had gotten his way…

He paused. And looked at her, letting his eyes take in the swell of her belly. “He tried to kill me, so I reckon he knows we don’t work for him anymore.”

“Tried to kill you?”

“Yah.”

Fidgeting, “He was in the wrong place to do it, up on a cliff and me below, so I gave him the slip. But Fend was there, too.”

“Right. Riding the woorm.”

“Ai, and there were Sefry in the mountain: Leshya’s people. I think they were fighting the praifec. But I was occupied. The Briar King showed up, only you and Stephen were missing.”

“You didn’t find him?“ 

"No. I killed the woorm with the praifec’s arrow. I got into a fight with one of them Mamres monks, he hurt me bad. Broke my leg. If it hadn’t been for Ogre, I’d be dead and that’s certain.”

“Ogre…?”

He cleared his throat gruffly, “Didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry Aspar.” Gingerly she stood, cradling her belly, taking a step toward him.

He shrugged, “I meant to pasture him soon, the chance just never came up. But he died fighting and I reckon that’s how he would have liked to go.” he paused. “Fend. He, ah, killed the Briar King.”

She stopped, hand mid sweep toward his face, “What?”

“With that same arrow. Turns out it can be used any number of times, not just the three Hespero said. Fend was about to use it on me when Leshya showed up and got us out of there.”

Responding icily, “Convenient.”

“Yah, but I got sick after that. Really sick. When I came to my senses, she had found us a hiding place, but I wasn’t able to travel for months.” He looked into her eyes, hoping to make her believe him. “Fend found us. He’s on my trail again and he’s not alone. We can’t stay here Winna.”

Narrowing her eyes, “You were alone with her for four months?” she asked.

“Yah.”

“That must have been awful cozy.”

He felt the emptiness in his chest flare up, angry, “That’s kindertalk, Winna! There’s nothing there. If anyone’s been courting all this time, it seems it was you.”

“Emfrith? He’s sweet.” She tapped her arm, “He’s not you. He is not the father of my child.” And taking a deep breath, “As for kindertalk, yes, I’m young enough to be your daughter, but that doesn’t make me a fool for being jealous. In fact, it gives me even more reason Aspar! I have even more reason to suspect her! You don’t see the way she looks at you, but I see it.” Her expression softened. “It just means I love you. I don’t want you to leave me, I don’t believe you would, but I was beginning to lose hope. I was beginning to think you were really dead, that you wouldn’t return. And then you show up with her? Just don’t get all angry and don’t you dare,” She jabbed a finger at him, “dodge my question. You tell me nothing happened between you, and I’ll not raise this again, ever.”

“Nothing happened.”

She let out a deep breath, slowly, keeping eye contact. “Fine.”

“We’re done with that?”

She paused, to examine his face. To check his eyes and the curve of his mouth. But then looked away, “Yah.”

“Good.”

“That’s all? Don’t you have more to say than that?”

Aspar closed his eyes for a moment. “You know how I feel about you, Winna. But maybe it would be best for you- and the babe-”

“Stop,” She held up her hand. “Just stop there. There’s no best for me. There’s only you. You know I never asked anything more than you could give, but you have given me something! This is what I always wanted and you gave it to me.” She stroked her belly gently, lovingly. “I never imagined I’d lead a normal life with you, holter. You never promised it, and I still don’t expect it. But whatever happens,” She reached for his hands and pressed them palm down on her abdomen. “This child is ours.” 

He stared at his hands pressed to her swollen middle, the warm pressure should have been comforting but revulsion rose in his throat and he closed his eyes. From the dark of his closed lids bloomed the vision of the black slick greffyn being born from the cow. Grassy meadow morphed into a dark bubbling pit in his mind. And the natural creature’s scream pierced his ears. Aspar’s eyes shot open, to see Winna’s soft smile. She let go of his hands and clasped his arms.

“Winna.”

“What?”

He swallowed hard, the nausea in his throat slithering down into his gut. Sceat. Grim take the Sarnwood witch. And curse any great force that had let him act the fool he was. “Let’s take you somewhere safe, then. Somewhere you can have this baby without fear.”

“You’ll go with me?”

“Yah.”

She smiled and wrapped her arms tightly around his back, so that the hardness of her belly pressed into him. “I believe you. I promise I’ll never say anything about that woman and you again.”

He resisted the urge to step back, to distance himself from her and what might be there. “Good.”

“I’ve missed you, Aspar White!” She held him tighter, “You’ve no idea how I’ve missed you.” Her smooth cheek brushed against the rough stubble of his jaw as she leaned into him. The churning of his gut connected with the relief of her touch like a blow. What kind of creature was growing in her? Human? Or something greasy and demonic?

Even still Aspar’s body leaned into her, for it felt so right to touch her, to sink into her embrace.

She let go, taking his hands. “Where shall we go?”

He lifted her hands to his mouth and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. As he began to answer, he meant to say that they would go to Virgenya or Nazhgave, or to the sea, any place that seemed outside the sickness of the wasting world. And yet, when he opened his mouth strange words tumbled out. “To the Mountains of the Hare,” he heard himself say. “I can protect us there.”

Strangest of all was how smoothly the lie slid off his tongue.

She didn’t seem to notice, only glow with a new found happiness.

And he kissed her again.

Winna smiled into his lips, the swarm of questions gone now. All that remained was the relief of a woman that believed she would be safe. He could not return her joy, because she would not be safe. But- now that he had touched her again, held her, he knew that he would hold her until the very end. Even if the things he had to do harmed her. Even if she came to hate him. Even if it meant the end for both of them.

He wouldn’t let go.

Not again.

**Author's Note:**

> written for an August Writing Challenge  
Day 15: Hurt/Comfort
> 
> this series gives me. SUCH. JOY.
> 
> AND THIS COUPLE gives me such joy.
> 
> really! I love a lot of things about their dynamic and the way they both compromise to be with the other. she knows she's not going to get a normal happily-ever-after but he's worth it to her. he knows that she wants commitment, and even if he still struggles with the scars from his first wife, he tries his best to be there for her.  
yes, stuff gets complicated along the way, and yeah they don't always do what's best for each other but I love them! especially how crazy he is for her!
> 
> find me on tumblr: goldenclasp


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